Picking up the pieces
by Kataang1337
Summary: Oneshot. Ever since their exchange on the rooftop, Will and Tessa have not spoken to each other. What will happen when they finally find an opportunity to confront their issues?  -Updated. Still a oneshot.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note: **I've just finished reading Clockwork Angel for the second time and couldn't stop spazzing about it :D

For some odd reason, I had this little mental image of Will standing alone by a window and not noticing Tessa approach him. I tried developing the idea and...here we are. It's a Will/Tessa one shot, taking place after the end of Clockwork Angel. I know that Will and Tessa are unlikely to resolve their issues so easily, but a girl can dream, right? :)

**Disclaimer: Clockwork Angel belongs to Cassandra Clare. I own nothing...except a copy of the book ;D**

* * *

Will stared out of the window overlooking the streets of London, not that there was anything to look at—the night street was quiet, with the occasional figure striding along the pavement. His thoughts were far away, dwelling on the past which he usually kept locked in a remote corner of his mind.

_Cecily._ He could picture everything clearly: _the elusive shadows that taunted him for his weakness, the piercing scream that shattered the desolate silence of the night._

The memory quickly changed. _Tessa lay crumpled by the fountain in the Sanctuary, a widening pool of blood beneath her lifeless body. _Will could feel the same torrent of emotions rushing through his body. _Grief. Torment. Loss. Rage. Vengeance. _

Overwhelmed by the intensity of those feelings, he shut his eyes. It was to no avail; the image of Tessa lying in his arms, fatally wounded, surfaced with unprecedented clarity. Yet again, the terror of losing her gripped him, paralyzing him to the core. He had once claimed to Jem that if Tessa were to leave, he would simply go on with life as he did before her. It was an outright lie, and he knew it. Will had grown more attached to Tessa than he had ever intended to; and it was going to cost him, for every time he pushed her away, all he wanted to do was pull her right back.

Not that it mattered anymore; after their conversation on the rooftop, he was certain he had pushed Tessa so far that she was completely out of his reach. She had not spared him a single glance since then. It seemed like Tessa Gray had attained mastery in the art of ignoring Will Herondale's existence, and that bothered him. _Nobody _ignored Will Herondale. An icy glare brimming with hatred and loathing, maybe, but nobody could deny his existence like that…nobody, that is, but Tessa.

Once again, the thought of her name brought a bittersweet memory into his mind. The sensation of his own hands brushing through her hair, the bliss of feeling her soft lips move against his with dizzying passion, the warmth of having her body pressed closely towards him; mere moments before he had shattered her heart into a million pieces. It had been torture to see the hurt in her eyes as she stepped away from him unsteadily, as though he had put a dagger through her heart. He might as well have—the words he said to her had been so mercilessly cruel, carefully chosen with the intention to hurt her as much as possible. And he regretted it the moment the words left his mouth. The physical pain that had racked him when she turned on her heel and walked away had been tremendously incapacitating; he had wanted to run after her, to utter the words _"I'm sorry"_ for the first time in his life, but the chance was lost to him.

With a groan, Will held his head in his hands, as if it could stop himself from thinking of Tessa. All he could do for her now was to keep away; she deserved better. After all, this was the factor that had led him to seek the way which could hurt her most.

* * *

Tessa walked into the library, clutching the book tightly against her chest. She had been fruitlessly attempting to sleep, but an annoying individual kept pacing within the confines of her mind. It was already excruciatingly difficult to ignore Will physically—what with her heart beating erratically every single time she sensed his presence—and to completely eradicate him from her thoughts was nigh on an impossible feat.

_Stop thinking about him,_ Tessa chided herself silently. _He doesn't even like you the way you like him._ But that did not account for the way Will had kissed her, twice. Unbidden came the recollections of those instances in the attic and on the rooftop, of how he had pulled her so close, only to push her away altogether afterwards. She had gathered that Will was hiding something, something that caused him to act in the way he did, and perhaps if she just…

_No._ Tessa shook her head. William Herondale was an enigma without any solution; nobody would ever figure him out. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a dark figure standing by the window. The dim lighting of the library provided just enough light for her to recognize the figure: Will. Ignoring the sudden constriction she felt in her chest, Tessa contemplated turning around and walking out of the library before he spotted her.

But just as she was about to turn on her heel, she noticed something odd: Will had his head in his hands, ostensibly stressed about something. She bit her lip, unsure of how to proceed. Some part of her—a large part, if she were to be honest with herself—was brimming with concern for him, but there was another voice telling her to turn around before he could hurt her again.

Hesitantly, Tessa took a few steps towards Will, holding her breath, waiting for him to register her presence. Much to her surprise, the Shadowhunter seemed to have not heard her approach.

"Will," she called gently, reaching out tentatively to him. He made no move to acknowledge her. His fingers tensed a little, as if he was in some pain.

"Will," she called again, lightly placing her hand on his shoulder. "Are you alright?" He jumped at her touch, breaking out of his trance. As his gaze met hers, Tessa could see his eyes widen slightly, revealing the unguarded emotions within the dark blue orbs. In a simple matter of seconds, those emotions were shielded; his face quickly composed into a calm mask.

"What's the matter, Tessa? Missing me already?"

Despite the harshness behind the voice, Tessa could not help marveling at how appealing her name sounded on his lips. At the same time, the words hurt more than they should have.

"But then again," he continued, grinning smugly. "That shouldn't be of any surprise. After all, I _am_ incredibly good-looking; most women can't resist my advances."

Tessa could feel a familiar rage bubbling at the pit of her stomach as she remembered Will's recent tales of the many wayward women he had encountered in various taverns.

_He lies consistently,_ Jem had once said. _He always invents the story that will make him look the worst._ The memory eased the knot in her stomach a little.

"Will," she sighed. "Tell me what's bothering you. I might be able to help."

Will opened his mouth to reject her offer, but the words had somehow gotten wedged in his throat. Tessa was right; she _would_ be able to help, to satiate the fanatical urge to hold her, to kiss her.

"Whatever it is," she whispered softly, tenderly caressing his face with her small hand. "You can tell me."

He could feel his resolve shattering like broken glass as he stared into her gentle grey eyes; the walls he had hastily built around himself were beginning to crumble. Slowly, he reached for her.

"Tess, I…it's…" he sputtered, as though choking on words which he could not say. Watching him struggle with words was more painful than Tessa ever imagined; she watched him quietly with an ache in her chest that was desperately trying to pull her closer to him. "The truth is…" he tried again to break through the invisible barrier that prevented him from voicing his innermost thoughts.

"I…I can't tell you…no…I can't…" Will trailed off; his shoulders sagging as he turned away from her.

In the silence, a loud 'thud' could be heard, but neither paid any heed to what had just fallen to the ground. Her hand, frozen at the spot where his face was mere seconds ago, slowly fell to her side. "Is it because y-you don't trust me?" Her voice quavered slightly with hurt and disappointment.

"I_ do_ trust you, Tess, believe me," he implored, taking her hand in his. There was a note of desperation that caused her breath to catch in her throat. "It's just that…"

"It's too painful to talk about it?" Tessa finished for him when the jolt of realization hit after a pregnant pause. There were some things so tormenting that it was impossible to even try to put them into words.

Will remained silent.

"It's alright, Will. We can—"

"You don't understand, do you?" he interrupted coldly, surprising even himself. It was this very voice that hurt her time and again when he never meant to do so, the voice that he despised so much.

"What?" Tessa was taken aback by the sudden wintriness that surfaced. The vulnerable and emotional Will was gone, replaced by the familiar bitter, caustic near-stranger.

"I said you don't understand. You don't know what it feels like, this…this—"

"_Fine!_ I don't understand you, nobody does," she burst out in exasperation. "You can just go on keeping to yourself for all I care." With that, she whirled around and made for the door. A familiar hollow ache arose in Will's chest as he watched her walk away, causing an inexplicable tug towards her. Moving with a speed only achievable by a Shadowhunter, he swiftly stepped in her way.

"What do you want_ now_, Mr. _Herondale_?"

Inwardly he winced from the acidity in her voice—it sounded wrong coming from the angelic and innocent Tessa. "Tess," he gently reached to hold her hands in his, hoping that the Angel would grant him the strength to say what he needed to. She glared at him sharply, but made no move to extract her hands from his. Looking deep into her grey eyes, Will finally uttered the words that he had been meaning to tell her for weeks, "I'm sorry…"

The expression on Tessa's face softened; William Herondale, who had never appeared to be sorry for anything, had just apologized to her? "Will—" she whispered, only to be silenced by his lips brushing lightly across hers. She let a surprised gasp against his mouth before her instincts took over her mind. Her arms wrapped around his neck for support as she brought herself closer to him. Her knees felt like they could give way any moment.

Will enveloped her in his arms, pulling her towards him with unprecedented gentleness, as if she were extremely fragile. The taste of her delicate lips was far sweeter than he could ever remember. For a moment, he wondered how in the name of the Angel that he had managed to survive the past few weeks without the sensation of running his fingers through her silky soft hair.

And after what appeared to be an eternity, he finally gathered the resolve to break away from her. "I'm sorry," he repeated, breathing heavily. "For everything I said to hurt you." Now that the words were out, he felt the heavy weight on his heart vanish, leaving him with a light feeling of bliss.

Tessa gazed up at him in wonder, her mind still quite unable to process what had just happened; her face flushed and her lips were swollen slightly. Will thought she was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen, and as a Shadowhunter, he _had_ encountered many attractive girls, Downworlder or otherwise.

"I know I can't take back the words I've said, and I don't expect you to forgive me either," he cupped her cheek gently with his hand. "But I want you to know that I'm sorry…truly."

"I do forgive you, Will," she muttered. "But…"

"State your condition, my lady," he grinned crookedly, delighted that she had somehow–impossibly—forgiven him when he could hardly forgive himself.

"You're going to have to make it up to me," Tessa smiled coyly despite herself, for once not at all bothered that she might have sounded flirtatious.

* * *

**A/N: **And there it is, my first Infernal Devices fic. Rather fluffy, because I'm just such a sucker for fluff :D

It is, of course, impossible that Will and Tessa will get together so easily given all the complications in Clockwork Angel alone. But there's this little voice in my head that screams to me: "Will and Tessa belong together!"

And so far, my track record for such predictions has been pretty good, if I do say so myself :P Meanwhile, we shall wait for Clockwork Prince and Clockwork Princess to reveal everything.

Anyway, I thank you for reading this story. Now, if you would kindly click on that little "Review" button below? :)


	2. Author's note

**A/N: **Sorry for not updating...but I've been kept really busy by school. D: (And it doesn't help that my modem died on me two days ago)

Anyway, I would like to thank you all for reading my fic, especially the seven of you who reviewed...can't thank you enough (: Love you guys! x3

But before I start, I would like to clarify that this oneshot will remain a oneshot on its own. It will not be converted into a multi-chaptered fanfic. However, I do have some more stuff in store for you ;)

Once again, I thank my lovely reviewers, and the rest of this update is dedicated to you.

**Alyss:** Thanks :D I truly believe that Will isn't naturally arrogant or selfish, and his behavior is likely to be the result of something tragic that happened in the past. I have been analyzing the bits and pieces about Will's past in _Clockwork Angel_, and got inspired to write a sequel oneshot that will explore our hero's tragic past ;)

Up next: a small segment of the sequel oneshot I've been working on...

* * *

_Will smiled. The moment was perfect; he was alone with Tessa, who was gazing at him with the most loving expression in her grey-blue eyes. There was a light feeling of ecstasy that seemed to radiate out of nowhere, and for an instant he wondered if he were in Heaven._

_Tessa twined her arms around his neck, shyly leaning up towards him. Reflexively, his arm which was resting at her waist pulled her close as he reached down to capture her lips with his. It could have lasted forever; he could not tell. And when they finally broke apart, Tessa's eyes were shining as she whispered, "I love you."_

_It seemed so right, that without a second thought, he whispered the words back at her. The moment the words left his lips, everything changed. The light around them faded into darkness as tendrils of black smoke drifted everywhere. Tessa let out a terrified yelp and her eyes widened in fear as a dark tentacle lashed out, pulling her out of Will's grasp._

_"Tessa! No!" Will yelled, reaching forward to pull her back. As his fingers closed upon her outstretched hand, she turned to dust. A scream echoed in the darkness as he drew a seraph blade from his belt. The blade shimmered to life, but provided no illumination against the dark fog._

_A familiar cruel laughter rang out in the silence. "William Herondale, you have brought this upon her."_

Will bolted upright, heart hammering wildly. Beads of perspiration ran down his neck. He looked around to find himself in his own quarters at the Institute. A bright stream of light from the window illuminated the room. Slowly, his breathing eased.

"Just a dream," he muttered to himself, shaking his head to clear residual traces of the nightmare. Intrinsically, however, he knew that the dream could well come true; it had already happened once, in the Sanctuary. The scene that had plagued his dreams since surfaced yet again, accompanied by those emotions which he had yet to gain mastery of.

_Calm yourself, Herondale,_ Will chided himself as he climbed out of bed, pausing only to let out a stream of curses when the sheets tangled with his legs.

* * *

**A/N: **Besides that, I also had this idea for some interaction between Jem and Will happening after the last chapter of _Clockwork Angel_, where Tessa was talking to Jem. You can consider it to be sort of a prequel for _Picking up the pieces_.

Here comes a part of this prequel...

* * *

"Lazy as ever, are we?" Will commented mildly, not bothering to look up from his book to see who had opened the door. In the many years he had stayed at the Institute, only one person ever entered his room without knocking.

"Will, we need to talk." Jem reached out to close the door behind him. His voice was calm as always, with just a slight edge of firmness to indicate the severity of the situation.

"Dear God," Will exclaimed and dropped his book in mock horror. "What have I done to incur the wrath of Jem Carstairs?"

Jem remained silent, glaring at him with mild exasperation. Recognizing that the attempt to lighten the atmosphere had failed, Will sighed theatrically. "Alright then, I supposed you're used to my morally deficient ways by now," he grinned, making a last effort to defuse the situation. "What is it about?"

"Tessa." Will froze, and Jem had the momentary satisfaction of watching the grin slide off his face.

"What about her?" The calm mask of Will Herondale was quickly recomposed. He picked up the book he dropped—Jem caught a glimpse of the title: _A tale of two cities_—and leaned back casually in his chair.

"I know what you said to her," Jem stated simply.

Will raised an eyebrow in amusement. "And since when have you decided to poke your nose into my affairs?"

"This isn't just about you, you know," replied Jem with exaggerated patience. "Why did you tell Tessa you don't want her to stay?"

"I still don't see how that is your business, Jem. Unless…you are in love with her and want her to stay?"

Jem, as usual, ignored his jibe. "You're not answering the question."

"Neither are you," Will retorted indignantly.

* * *

**A/N:** That concludes my little update. And in case you were wondering when I'll be updating again, I'll give you a heads-up: if we're lucky, I'll be uploading both oneshots within a month.

Thank you for reading through all my ramblings. Until next time... :)


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